Humanity

Working in a place like Team Fortress was more trying then many often realized. It was war. No, this place was worse then a war. Worse then any battlefield out there. Some would argue that it wasn't that bad, that those working in Team Fortress had it good. They had a lot more benefits, after all. For one they couldn't die. You were fatally wounded, bled out, exploded, lost a limb or a few, anything that would mean a body bag and an upset family anywhere else was just a 'setback' for the Team Fortress employees thanks to the technology known only as 'respawn.' They were also paid for their services. Paid very well. Most everyone signed into the place was there for that reason. The pay. They needed to get out of debt or just thought it was easy money.

Those viewpoints were misguided. Wrong. Unacceptable. There was a long list of reasons that men who'd spent a majority of their better years in Team Fortress could give that the place was worse then any service in a 'real' war. For one they were not called soldiers. They were called mercenaries. Mercenaries were feared and despised in society, seen as nothing but murderers even to their own employers. The only place murderers belonged was in jail. Every day you fought was another chip away from your sanity as well. Every day mercenaries got to see their friends, their comrades, die all around them until one day the sight didn't even make them flinch. The more death they saw, the more desensitized they became to it.

Eventually they stopped looking like humans and more like on command killing machines. Cold-blooded butchers that didn't belong amongst normal human beings, couldn't belong with them.

There were always those select few that fought against that change. Men amongst the murderers who tried to keep some form of their humanity alive. Conrad Sir, the Head Soldier of 2Fort, was one of these men. If he weren't the best at what he did he wouldn't be Head of the class Soldier and he wouldn't be charged with the task of training ever new trainee brought into Team Fortress before sending them to real battlefield. Not a man left him without the proper tools and training to survive and Conrad prided himself in this.

He was very passionate about what he did. You had to be to get the results Conrad did. But unlike his Red counterpart the man still retained a portion of his sanity. Many wondered how. They saw this giant of a man who threw himself into the heat of battle, killed at every opportunity and with his bare hands if it could be done. Conrad was known to get very creative with his kills if he could too, from sneaking up on a Spy to strangle them to splitting a Heavy's skull with his pickaxe. But there was another side to this Soldier that only a few of the other Heads had seen.

Outside of Team Fortress rested Conrad's sanity. He had a wife and two kids that he had to stay human for. If he ever fell to the same delusions that had the Red Head Soldier talking to disembodied heads lined up fence posts he could never again see his family as a man. He'd just become another robotic brute who's only operation was 'kill.'

Yet every attachment to sanity was delicate. Conrad's attachments even more so. He was away working a majority of the year given that he held such a high position. Every day he faced certain death; one system error in respawn could spell mass homicide amongst the ranks. That had to be hard on a wife with two kids. The woman didn't have to work as much thanks to her husband's salary, but she went days at a time without knowing if her husband had risen with he sun that morning and survived to do so the next day. Her children grew up seeing their father on his breaks alone, the man missing everything from their first words to their first steps and beyond.

The woman held strong though. She remained ever fateful and loving. Their children were the same way. Loving of their father, supportive and forgiving. The perfect family for a military man, the ones who didn't care about what he did or how long he was gone, just that they were always there when he returned home. When he could return home.

It had been a good six months since Conrad had seen them last. Half a year was a long time for a husband to go without seeing his wife's face, for a father to be unable to hold his children and for a man to tell his family face-to-face he loved them. He'd managed to call them a total of six times. Once a month. Over the years his opportunities to call had slowly been decreasing as Team Fortress demanded more and more of his attention.

The day when the Head Soldier was informed his wife was calling him was the first day in a long time Conrad felt true dread.

Despite being interrupted in the middle of a lecture to a batch of new recruits, something that would usually get the unfortunate messenger thrown out a window, Conrad had frozen up when he'd heard the report. Then he was leaving the room altogether, leaving his vice with the simple command to 'take over.'

The entire room was left looking perplexed and the vice rubbing the back of his neck as he frowned. One of the recruits noticed the nervous gesture and questioned the second in command. "Lieutenant Shields, does this happen often?"

"I didn't even know he was married!"

"Maybe she forgot to—"

"QUIET!"

Solly's yell had every recruit in there falling silent and looking forward again. The vice was glaring at them all, disappointed. "If the Commander was in the room not one of you would dare speak out of turn like that. If you all want I can remind you of the chain of command and teach you why you shouldn't get into someone else's business. If I catch any hint that one of you mentioned this to anyone I'll make you run laps until your boots fall apart on your feet and you can't even crawl." The threat was received and everyone put the event from their mind, focusing on the vice as he picked up the lecture where Conrad had left off.

In record time the Head was back in his office, picking up usually untouched phone and pressing the only flashing button on the console. "This is—"

"Conrad we need you home." The voice was unmistakably his wife's and the trained man could detect the stress in her tone. Formalities were dropped and the Head Soldier grew tense, his voice low. "What's wrong?"

"I know I'm not supposed to call this line, but they wouldn't put me through. It's Jesse. Conrad he got hurt and was taken to intensive care…they had to put him into surgery before we could even see him…" The woman trailed off and she could be heard taking a few deep breathes to keep from crying. The man didn't need to hear more. "I have to leave right now to catch the last train out. I'll be there as soon as possible."

"Con—"

Click

Beep beep beep

The woman remained where she was, listening to the dial tone before slowly returning the receiver to its base. Her husband was coming home, but she hadn't been able to tell him everything before he'd rushed off and she was positive he was in full protective mode. He had to be; Conrad had just been told something had happened to his only son, and that his family needed him.  

Maybe if she could've kept him on the line longer, she could have prepared him for what he was coming home to.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

There was no time to warn anyone of his departure. Conrad wasn't even going to pack anything. He was simply leaving the base and going home. It was by pure chance that he passed the Head Scout on his way out and was quick to corner the redhead to give him specific instructions. "Tell Lieutenant Shields he's in charge until I get back." It was a simple order and the man had the upmost confidence Willy could deliver the message. Not only were they friends, but they roomed together.

Releasing the Scout, the Soldier was off again, heading out of the base to the train station. This left the Head Scout in shock, confused, but now in possession of an important message. It wasn't until later that day he was able to actually deliver it and by then the Head Soldier was already entering his home.

The entire trip had taken the rest of the day. The train was too slow. The bus following was even slower. The intimidating presence of the large man hadn't made either go any faster either. He was tired, but anxious as he walked through the front door of the two-story house he and his family owned, the small form of his wife standing just beyond the door waiting for him. "Jo?"

The woman was small compared to her husband, her long, bright red hair currently down and perfectly kept, her clothes clean and crease free; overall her appearance suggested order and calm, but her pale blue eyes displayed the turmoil of her inner emotions. She was holding back tears as her husband stepped inside and closed the door slowly behind himself. "Why aren't you at the hospital?"

Conrad had assumed nobody would be at the house, the family instead waiting with Jesse. He hadn't known what hospital his son was being kept at so the plan had been to call around from the house. Jo was here though…where were the kids? "Don't tell me they weren't letting you stay. You're his mother—" The large man came to an abrupt halt when those eyes averted from his own, focusing on the doorway leading into the living room. Conrad was quick to follow her gaze and spotted a familiar mop of red hair over the top o the couch. His daughter, Robin. The girl was staring at the TV, but the device was turned off. If he could see the little girl's face the man would have known his daughter was silently crying.

"I'm sorry hunny… I tried to tell you, but you hung up before I could." Jo finally spoke, approaching her husband and automatically he put his arms up to hold her. She took those hands instead, leading him into the living room where she sat him down on the couch. Robin seemed slightly surprised, but whined before clinging to her father, giving a mumbled 'daddy' as she burrowed into his chest. Conrad just held her, eyes narrowing slightly, wanting to know what was going on. The hand he wasn't using to hold his seven-year-old daughter was taken. "Jesse and Robin were walking home from school…and someone sped through the school zone Conrad. He was doing at least eighty and he was drunk. But…he hit Jesse. Our son pushed Robin out of the way, but it was just too fast for…"

The Soldier had stopped breathing. "He's gone. I tried to call you when the accident happened, but I couldn't get through. The administration didn't think it was urgent enough to interrupt you, that's why I used the emergency number." Jo was crying by this point, but her voice was surprisingly level.

"When?"

"Last night was when…it was officially called. He held on as long as he could Conrad. The doctors thought it was a miracle he even survived the impact."

Making him…the one who was late. Conrad didn't immediately blame the administration for not letting his wife through to him sooner. Even if they deserved the blame. If Jo had just been allowed to talk to him then he might have made it back in time…in time to see his son one last time. He hadn't seen the boy in six months and now he would never see him again.

Robin, attached to her father's broad chest, turned her steel eyes locking with Conrad's darker, sharp grey. He could see not only the sadness and pain reflected there from the loss, but the fear. She had seen the entire event and there was no telling how horrific the sight had been. Even if there had been no blood or mutilation it was still a seven-year-old girl seeing her ten-year-old brother murdered. That was something no child should have to see.

Jo could feel the hurt bottled inside her husband as he held their only remaining child close, comforting her as best he could. This was the side of him only a handful of people ever saw. The side that was joyful, the side that felt pain; the human side of Conrad Sir.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Later that evening, after Robin was in bed the administration was calling the house. Somehow they knew Conrad was there and they weren't happy. The man was furious at them by now and if it weren't for Jo punching him earlier when he'd considered just retiring right then and there he would have been screaming at them. But no, the redheaded woman had made it clear that the man she married didn't quit and did not accept failure. As much as she hated the thought of him being out there Conrad had started it and she wanted him to finish out his contract. Then he could take those benefits the place had offered for his services and never have to work again. Not only that, but their daughter was guaranteed a chance at a comfortable future with the way they had been budgeting. Even more so now…

The phone call was long and brutal. Instead of yelling, Conrad and the man on the other side had a long, levelheaded conversation. The administration wasn't happy that he'd run off the way he had, but this was countered by their approval of having his vice trained and ready to handle the recruits for a few days. They didn't seem to care that he had family issues, but the man sensed the underlying threat in the man's voice when it came to when Conrad would be called back and he was given a week.

A week to comfort his family and bury his son.

Plenty of time the administration seemed to think. Too much time really, but the Soldier had never requested more then already given from them so they granted him the time as a one-time deal.

Those were the people who ran Team Fortress. It was because of them Conrad hung onto his family so tightly. Because he knew that now these two last strings were all that kept him a man instead of a killing machine; his wife and daughter were the only people keeping him from losing his humanity.

End